it's not cheating when I paid for it
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
