Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
