a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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