I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
