I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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