so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
