hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize