There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
she pinky promised me she was 18
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Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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