i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
