I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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