Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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