I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
