what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
