He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
