Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
