Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
