Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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