He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
