I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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