like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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