I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize