like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
