your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Non-Jews are for practice
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize
