Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize