All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
