oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
My ass is underappreciated
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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