nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
