i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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