belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
