Well apparently he's into motor boating.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
