Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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