I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
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All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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