Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
