Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
