Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
