omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Did I show you my penis last night?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
