ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize