I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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