Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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