her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
