come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
