You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
she pinky promised me she was 18
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
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We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
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He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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