Please, let me fuck your mom
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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