Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize