i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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