I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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