i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
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The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
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I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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