Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize