I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
