I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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