ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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