so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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