Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
