fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
It's Friday. Sex?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
