y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
