question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
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