I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
