he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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