not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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