Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
